First Saturday and a Second Chance

Every year my dad and I spent the first Saturday in December together at the mall.
It was Our Day.
We didn’t have the best relationship so, honestly,
it was typically the only day of the entire year that we spent together, just the two of us.
My dad wasn’t great at relationships but he loved us, me and my brother and sister.
And he showed that in the way he knew how.
He worked hard to make sure that we always had what we needed
and, sometimes, what we wanted.
He always wanted to give good Christmas presents to us and to our extended family,
which was the purpose for our annual day.
I picked out the gifts. He paid for them.
I wrapped them. He signed his name to the tag.

That had been our tradition for as long as I can remember.
Unbeknownst to me, 2007 was the last year that we would have Our Day.
As I've mentioned before, on June 5, 2008 my dad made the choice to end his life.
 I don’t want my dad to be remembered as
“the guy who was bipolar”
or “the guy who killed himself”
or even as “the man who didn’t know how to have good relationships with his own children.”
Those things may be true but he doesn’t deserve to be defined by those things.
Those labels are lies and he was more than that.

In addition to wanting good things for his family,
it made him so sad to think that
there were children who wouldn’t get presents for Christmas.
As a tiny little girl I can remember him taking me
to pick out an angel from the Angel Tree.
When I got a little older he sought my opinion in
seeking out a family that we could anonymously assist.
He always made it a priority.
I want those things to shape his legacy.


I always want to do things to honor and remember my dad,
especially on days of significance.
Things are tight right now but although I didn’t have extra money to donate,
I do have time.
So, early in the morning,
before the sun had even come up on the first Saturday in December this year
my sister and I headed out to a local department store.
Because of the fundraising efforts of a local organization
we were able to spend a couple hours with a local little girl,
helping her to pick out clothes and shoes
that she might not have otherwise been able to receive this season.
I’m thankful that my dad instilled that desire in me.

Because he's not here to fight for himself,
I will keep fighting for him.
I will use this platform that I have to dispel the lies by
invalidating the labels that could be put on him.

I hope you know that the labels that others want to put on you are lies too.
You are not defined by what you did.
Click here to learn more about People of the Second Chance
and their mission to overthrow justice and liberate love.